


For the love of Hermann (and chocolate)

by hollydermovoi



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Baking in the Shatterdome, Dorks in Love, Easier than it sounds, F/M, M/M, mentions of trading sex for goods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-24 07:24:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollydermovoi/pseuds/hollydermovoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a comic by ahhyoulikeditsoyouputaringonit: Hermann develops an allergy to gluten, Newt makes him a gluten free cake</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> http://ahhyoulikeditsoyouputaringonit.tumblr.com/post/58898754772/pt-1-ahhhhhhhnother-headcannon-that-i-talked-to
> 
> ^That is the comic this is based on. All knowledge of gluten allergy symptoms as well as the gluten free recipe was found using the internet. Please tell me of any corrections to this obtained knowledge that you feel will benefit the story.

Of _course_ it was his irritating lab partner who noticed first.

Though bless him, he broke his revelation in the nicest way possible.

"Dude-you've got a _rash_. Didn't you have a migraine last week?" He had one now, but that hardly seemed relevant at the moment, so he just nodded. "Scheiße." Newton said softly, before setting aside his tools and stripping off his gloves. He strode over to Hermann's side of the lab, maneuvered him into sitting, and proceeded to run gentle fingers along the rash. "Have you been experiencing any other symptoms?" he inquired, and wearily, Hermann listed anything odd he'd noticed in the past two months. He tried not to think to long or hard on the fact that Newt's hands were gentle and assured, or that his eyes were warm with concern.

He had far too much to occupy his mind as it was. Preventing the end of the world for one thing. He didn't have any _time_ to linger on his foolish romantic interest with a Kaiju _groupie._

The acknowledgement of this fact didn't stop him from visualizing the man naked writhing in pleasure beneath or on top of him. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Newt pressed two fingers gently against his throat.

"I'm no doctor dude, y' _know_ that, but I've seen these symptoms before. Now I know food is _shit_ around here, but we _did_ get that shipment of actual flour in about two weeks ago, when your symptoms began to present themselves. I'm pretty sure you have a Gluten allergy."

"Verdammt!"

*

See the thing about his partner that he never would've guessed in a zillion years was that Hermann "Stick up his ass" Gottlieb had a sweet tooth.

It was true, he'd seen it in action. Old Scarecrow had scarfed down a whole tray of German Chocolate cupcakes at the Kaidanovsky's re-commitment ceremony last year, and had not regretted it one iota (or so he said when Newt helped "nurse" his stomach ache. And by nurse he means poked at it repeatedly until Hermann had tapped his head warningly with the cane) . Hermann loved sweets, especially German ones because they reminded him of his beloved grandmother (or so Mako had told him after he'd supplied her with colorant for her hair. He traded for goods and info on his attractive lab partner), and it was hard to see him sulk about the Shatterdome with that wounded look. The cooks were sympathetic, but overall ruled that this was a _war_ , supplies were low, and honestly the best way to avoid one's food allergy was to avoid the food one was allergic to. So Hermann sulked, especially when there was anything with chocolate in it, and gloomily ate whatever flour-less food was available.

Newt simply couldn't stand watching his frenemie suffer any longer, so he did the unthinkable- he called his mother. After listening to her babble about how disappointing it was that both of her children refused to provide her with grandchildren ("Even adopted ones Newton, I mean really!") for an hour he finally got the chance to accomplish his original goal.

"Hey Ma, speaking of Marie, I was wondering- do you still have gluten free recipes? I'm looking for a German Chocolate one." 

"Well that depends sweetie- are you going to call me every month or not?"

God help him he would if that's what it took.

"Of course ma."

"Well in that case honey, do you have a pen?"

Mentally resigning himself to a loss of all privacy- she _was_ friends with Marshall Pentecost after all- he pulled out a pen and a pad of paper, completely failing to notice the bright eyes that were watching him.


	2. Chapter 2

This was a war against creatures so powerful they downed people without even having to leave the ocean. People were working on little to no sleep to solve the problem and they were ridiculously busy.

Nevertheless it took less than six hours for the pictures of him dressed as Godzilla to circulate the entire Shatterdome. 

He honestly hated his mother sometimes.

He knew the tattoos were bad enough, but most were willing to overlook them when his biological interest mixed with Hermann's math took down the monsters that plagued their world. However, whenever something like _this_ happened, or he got a new tattoo, the whispers of Kaiju Groupie would restart.

Which is why he was sitting alone in the mess hall eating flavorless mush and staring at the list of ingredients his mother had provided and wondering how he was going to get use of the kitchen, let alone any of the ingredients when everyone hated him.

 _Just like highschool_ he thought despondently as he tried to figure out how in the _hell_ he was supposed to procure the different flours, let alone the chocolate. The table vibrated slightly and he looked up to meet the eyes of Sasha Kaidanovsky.

Oh yeah, just like highschool, where the Queen Bee came to his table when she needed someone to humiliate. But he was willing to play this game- after all, everyone knew the Kaidanovskys had the best smuggled goods.

"Вы нуждаетесь в чем-то, я могу вам помочь?*" he asked politely, and her lips stretched into some semblance of a smile.

"Actually, I heard it was you who needed something Dr. Geiszler," she replied "Why don't you have a drink with Alexsis and I after you're done eating, and we can talk business." With that she pivoted around and marched away, leaving Newt to stare at her in bafflement before shoving the tasteless mush away and rushing after her.

After all, who was he to argue if the Russians were willing to talk business?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Did you need something I can help you with?
> 
> Also, I know it's short and not a lot of questions have been answered, but I promise all will be revealed. It may take me awhile because classes have restarted and I need to focus on my studies. So please be patient with me- this _will_ get finished eventually :)


	3. Chapter 3

The Kaidanovskys were very quiet people by nature, though they were quiet for very different reasons. Alexsis was quiet because he enjoyed the intimidation the combination of his size, reputation and silence gave him. Sasha, on the other hand, was quiet because she was shy.

Luckily, no one had noticed her shyness in her many years as a Jaeger pilot, though Newt had technically come the closest, back when she'd first been shafted into the pilot training program, and he'd never said a word about it to anyone. So when Mako had told her that she'd overheard Newt talking to his mother about gluten free recipes, she knew they'd help him find whatever he needed. After all, he'd introduced her to Alexsis- he was her friend*. And she wanted to see him happy.

There was a sad fact about their world- sex was used as a commodity. Many of those who had access to Black Market goods would only deliver it if their recipients slept with them.

She and her husband refused to have anything to do with those people. They were barterers, not pimps, and she'd had enough experience with both in her youth to both note and appreciate the difference. It seemed however that Newt was unaware they didn't partake in that sort of trade, because the second after Alexsis had pried his ingredient list out of his possession, the whole trade almost went completely sour.

"I'm more than certain you can get your hands on water, a mixer and a kitchen. I have no clue what xanthan or guar gum is, or where to get the rice flours, tapioca starch and gluten free baking powder-"

"About that- if you can get me cream of tarter and organic cornstarch, I can make my own."

Her husband nodded, pleased with Newt's casual treatment of the situation. "Ya, we can get those. We can also get our hands on potato starch, baking soda, bittersweet chocolate, cocoa powder, sugar, vanilla, eggs, coconut, walnuts, sea salt, whipping cream, butter, and buttermilk." 

Newt's eyes widened in shock. "I...uh, I have no way of repaying you for all that." 

Alexsis laughed, and she hid a grin. Funny that their friend thought he had to pay them for help when he'd given them so much for free in the past. "Money?" wheezed Alexsis "What use have we for _money?"_

Newt paled, and she really should have seen it coming, because again, there was an unfortunate tendency for the other traders in the 'dome to trade goods for sex, but she was honestly surprised when he started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Стоп!" she cried. "Что ты делаешь?"

"Я плачу вам." he whispered, cheeks burning, and she couldn't help it- she hugged him, feeling him stiffen. 

"Friends don't pay friends in that way- you taught me that."

"We're friends?"

Alexsis clapped Newt soundly on the shoulder, and Newt almost fell over, Sasha catching him with a smile. "Of course!" boomed her husband. "Now, who has been spreading vicious rumors about Kaidanovskys? Our honor is respected, even by puny Americans!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * note that Newt is a tad insecure and doesn't think he has any friends. Since Sasha is quiet, she thinks he knows that they're friends 'cause she's willing to spend time with him.
> 
> Stop, what are you doing? I'm paying you


	4. Chapter 4

After the chat with Sasha and Alexsis, making a gluten free cake was amazingly straightforward. The kitchen staff, once they learned that the end product would be going to the _gentleman_ scientist ceased their refusals, and water was found in the kitchen. As for the other ingredients, Mako gave him the rice flours, his mother sent him both xanthan _and_ guar gum, and the Hansens of all people procured some tapioca starch. Mako and the Hansens asked for nothing in return and his mother stopped insisting on hour long calls.

All in all, life was going good.

But as always in their part of the world, not everything was easy. He couldn't find enough _time_ to make the cake- Kaiju, as much as he loved their sheer power and evolutionary design, had the unfortunate tendency to act like the Huns from Mulan. They popped out of the snow, like daisies, right when you thought you'd saved the Emperor and all of China, wrecking pretty parades and puppets willy-nilly.

The sound of a throat clearing broke his concentration on the piece of Kaiju in front of him- he'd almost figured out this one's camouflage gene worked, he just needed to look a _little_ more-

"Newton. You have been there, digging at that...thing, for the past three days. I highly doubt you've eaten properly in that time, and you keep humming the Mulan soundtrack. "

Oops. Well that was awkward.

"Right, Herms, anywho...Imma do that. Y'know, sleep, eat, cook something-"

" _Cook?_ Newton, you can barely _stand_ , I highly doubt you would be able to accomplish anything remotely close to edible culinarily on a good nights sleep, let alone now."

Oh, ouch that hurt.

"OK, thanks for the insult, gotta go. Bye."

"Wait- Newton!"

But Newt was already gone.


	5. Chapter 5

As much as Newt was loath to admit it in public, Hermann had been right about the necessity of the nap. Still, considering he'd never had to inclination to cook in a place where fairly decent food was available without any effort or money on his part, he was truly insulted about the whole doubting his culinary prowess thing. Ultimately this would be proven wrong- he _had_ , after all, excelled at all the culinary courses he'd taken over the years...not that _anyone_ except for Marie knew that he'd ever taken culinary courses, since he didn't tend to use them on a day-to-day basis. He was perfectly happy with his Top Ramen and Poptarts, thank you very much.

Still, he definitely had something to prove now. So after a refreshing shower, he gathered all of the supplies stashed in his room before heading to the kitchens.

He had a cake to bake.

He got to the kitchens, only to find that they wouldn't let him in. Biting back a curse, he spun around and started walking to the dorms. _Sasha will help me,_ he thought to himself, smirking at the thought of the small Russian glaring the cooks into submission. He'd only just arrived at their door and shifted his box of dried goods to his hip so he could knock when the Kaiju alarm went off.

 _Of fucking course_ he thought resignedly before moving out of the fucking way. True to his predictions, the Kaidanovskys came storming out in their suits, even though the very reason they were at the 'Dome at all was 'cause Cherno needed repairs. Nevertheless, he didn't bother trying to remind them of the fact, just put his box into their room and closing their door before racing down the hall after them. If a Kaiju had emerged, he'd need to be near the monitors to identify what it was made out of. _Honestly, you'd think people would read up on marine biology before facing those things_ , he thought. After all, what little he'd been able to identify in the past had saved peoples _lives._ And yet, every time he showed up in the com room, they'd shove him to the very back of the room, away from the screens. It was alright though, he was used to it. 

Still, it kinda hurt when Hermann came limping in to the room and everyone cleared a path for him to get through.

He spent about twenty minutes studying the Kaiju to the best of his ability from behind some of Tendo's lackeys when Alexsis's familiar voce rumbled from behind him "Это чертовски смешно.*" All of the sudden, he was being lifted on to the tall man's shoulder. To his _supreme_ embarrassment, he let out an undignified yelp, reddening helplessly as several eyes, including Hermann's, turned to glare at him angrily. He squirmed, then ended up smiling as Alexsis simply bared his teeth all mild like, causing the eyes to dart away. Except, of course, for Hermann's, whose eyes stayed primed on Newt for a full three minutes before turning back to his equations. Newt stayed perched on Alexsis's shoulders for forty minutes just to prove he could and was just about to ask the man to put him down when he saw it.

" Oh my- oh my GOD. Marshall! Tell that Jaeger pilot that that thing has a dorsal fin!" "A _what_?" asked the Marshall. "Newton, please, now is not the time for your theatrics-" "Shut it Herms- look, Marshall, if you cut that thing off, that Kaiju will be unable to steer." There was silence for a bit, and then commotion as the techs flurried to relay the info, and when the Kaiju was downed, the room erupted into cheers. But when Hermann turned back to look for Newt, he was no longer there. Instead, the Russians stood there, eyeing him coldly, and he turned away, oddly flustered.

What on earth was going on?

*

The kitchen staff was cleaning the kitchen after the celebration for the latest Kaiju take down when the door slammed open and Newt strolled in with his box full of flours and other ingredients. He grinned at the cooks manically and strutted forward to one of the counters and putting the box down. "Listen, I know you all hate me, and don't bother denying it, but we _both_ know, that the sooner you let me make this damn cake, the sooner I'm out of your hair. Now are you gonna make it easy on yourselves, or hard?"

Turns out that they chose to make it easy, which was a good choice on their part, because the Kaidanovsky's stayed in the hall the entire time Newt made the cake, to make sure he had back up if he needed it, and to hopefully lick any spoons that needed it. Luckily for them, there were many of them that did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This is fucking ridiculous


End file.
